Inevitably, most parents can attest to enduring the dreaded rebellious teenager phase. These teenage years can be challenging for both parents and their daughters. But if slamming doors, stomping feet, and endless eye-rolls are driving you crazy, there are things you can do to decrease the frustration. If you’re not quite sure what to do with a rebellious teenage daughter, here are a few tips for living (more) peacefully with your rebellious teen:
1. Establish Consistent Boundaries and Consequences
Making rules is sometimes not enough. Sometimes teens continue to act out and do not seem to care about the consequences. Instead, we encourage families to involve their daughters in defining boundaries. This gives them a greater sense of independence and self-accountability.
2. Reward Positive Behaviors
When boundaries are adhered to, recognize that she made an active effort to choose the right course of action. We should gratefully acknowledge her sound decision-making and reward those choices to reinforce good behavior.
3. Encourage Participating in Extracurricular Activities
While our teens seem programmed to rebel against any authority, they don’t usually rebel in a structure they enjoy, such as those provided by extracurricular activities. We suggest encouraging your teen daughter to seek out extracurricular activities that appeal to her interests and allow her to learn essential social skills and responsibilities in an environment where her friends and classmates can help encourage positive behaviors.
4. Remember, It’s Not Personal
Letting your rebellious teen rant and rage, slam doors, or call names is difficult to take and makes getting along with your teenage daughter challenging. We want you to know that you can keep your sanity by compassionately offering support while maintaining a detached perspective.
5. Listen, Don’t Take Over the Conversation
Communication with our daughters can be difficult when they seem determined to shut us out. They don’t often respond well to being drilled about their activities or feelings. We need to remember just to listen and let her do most of the talking. Nonjudgmental listening can do wonders for keeping the lines of communication open.
6. Friends Are Their Safe Space, Monitor From a Distance
Teens are learning skills to make them independent adults, and fitting in with their friends is extremely important. While we may not approve of all of our daughters’ friends, we need to refrain from criticizing them when possible.
7. Pick Your Battles
Rebellious behavior can make parents want to pull out their hair. Even when abiding by established rules, our daughters will find ways to push buttons, challenge authority, and make us want to scream. However, learning to fight the important battles and let the small stuff slide can help you keep your cool.
8. Remain Calm
We know it is hard to remain calm when your teenage daughter is acting up, disrespectful, or rude. However, during these emotional and aggressive challenges, we encourage all parents to model the behavior we expect our daughters to learn to follow by keeping your cool. This can help significantly de-escalate conflicts until a solution can be found.
9. Provide Unconditional Love and Support
Teens need boundaries and challenges to grow into responsible adults. When our daughters rebel against these boundaries, we need to stay focused on the behavior and not diminish the person. We need to provide unconditional love and support to show them that they are worthy and respected even if we disagree.
10. Know When to Seek Outside Help
If you feel your daughter’s behavior is toxic and out of control for longer than six months, it may be time to consider professional help. This is especially true when rebellious behavior involves excessive risk-taking, drug or alcohol abuse, or factors that endanger her social or educational well-being.
Call Today for a Consultation
The Discovery Day Premier Teen Treatment in Provo, UT, is a place where teenagers can go to get the help they need. Here, your family can participate in counseling, day treatment therapies and activities, and other assistance. We offer individual, group, and family therapies designed to help your family face these challenges. We are here to guide you through every step of the way.
Contact us today if you’re unsure what to do with a rebellious teenage daughter. We’ll help you find a solution that works for you and them.